For centuries now, some young women have done a practice of financially benefiting from relationships with older gentlemen. So why shouldn’t guys have a slice of that pie? And why shouldn’t women want to financially take care of their dates, no matter their gender? Well, wealthy women abound! And if you’re lucky, you might get one of them to become your sugar momma!
In fact, you don’t have to leave it up to luck at all. As I’m about to explain, there are plenty of ways to seek out rich ladies in your area. But even if you find wealthy women, how would you approach them about starting this kind of relationship? What should you expect to get out of the arrangement, and what should you offer in return? Never fear: I’m here to answer all of your questions.
Where Could I Find a Sugar Momma?
I’m not one to leave a fellow hanging, so let’s start by answering the main question. Here are all the ways you might find a sugar momma, from the most accessible options to more exclusive ones.
1. Online Sites and Mobile Apps
Obviously, the easiest way to meet the sugar momma of your dreams is to use technology. Hey, the ladies you’re looking for are older, not technologically impaired! You can use pretty much any dating app or site you can think of to browse profiles and strike up conversations with women of all ages.
Just set your gender and age preference when you create your profile and enjoy the game. In the interest of full disclosure, you can mention that you’re looking to be spoiled in your bio. But you don’t have to keep your search contained to Tinder or OkCupid. There are plenty of sites that specifically cater to the kind of generous crowd you’re looking for.
The most famous of them all is Seeking Arrangement, which claimed to have over 1.4 million students registered for its services in 2015. And there were more than enough benefactors to go around, as they comprised about 58% of the site’s users. Other popular sites include Ashley Madison, Older Woman Dating, Cougar Life, Be Naughty, and even Craigslist.
Most of these sites also have apps, but some services only exist in an app format, like Cougar Dating Life and Sugar Mommas Dating. I can also recommend Sudy Cougar for guys and Sudy Les for gals. Or use the Sudy App, which is geared toward men and women of all ages.
All these sites and apps serve similar but slightly different demographics. For example, Ashley Madison is specifically a dating service for married people looking to have a spicy affair or step out with the approval of their spouse. Furthermore, most of these services have free versions as well as paid plans. Ultimately, you’ll have to find what suits you and engage with other users before you start seeing results.
2. Fashionable but Free Clubs and Places
The best way to meet wealthy cougars in person is to hang out in places where they hunt for cubs. Let them come to you by bringing your breathtaking self to the beach, mall, night club, or wherever fashionable people tend to spend their time. Gussy up, put on your Sunday best, and put your flirting skills to good use.
Of course, depending on the kind of woman you’re looking for, you may want to adjust your flirting style too. If you wanted to project a confident personality, you could buy the lady a drink — if you’re at a club. But many sugar mommas actually like their cubs to be more subservient. In those cases, even a flirtatious smile will be enough to get the ball rolling.
3. Art Galleries
Now, from here on out, the places you can meet wealthy women get more exclusive, so you should take advantage of any widely accessible venues where you might bump into one naturally. Art galleries, and more specifically, the opening nights of exhibits, are places rich people tend to frequent.
If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be to study up before you venture into these kinds of spaces. You want to be able to talk to these women about their interests. But ideally, you’d go just for the art. And if you happen to meet a lovely woman who would want to spoil you, well, that would just be an added perk.
In addition to being knowledgeable about the arts, you should also learn to read a room. Knowing how to spot women with deep pockets in a room full of people all dressed in their best getup can be tricky. That’s why hoping to meet rich cougars in the wild, so to speak, can backfire. At least when you’re looking through apps, you both know exactly what you want right off the bat.
4. Charity Events
Making it a point to be at big charity events in your area in one way or another can increase your chances of meeting your future sugar momma. I mean, if they’re already going to a fundraising event, they’re already showing a willingness to part with some of their cash. So you just need to work on becoming the next project they invest in.
Of course, the top one percent rarely visits charity events that are open to everyone. Fortunately, I have a few suggestions as to how you might find your way into places you’re not necessarily welcome in. But I’ll leave that for after I finish sharing potential locations for your sugar momma meet-cute.
5. Wine Tastings
If you and your friends are looking to blow off some steam and get some cougar hunting done at the same time, I recommend taking a trip to a vineyard. Showing up alone would be a bit suspicious, but if you walk in as a group, you can just relax and have fun. And hey, if a group of older, single ladies happens to be at the same wine tasting you attend, well, that’s just a stroke of good luck.
There is an art to approaching a potential sugar momma, as we’ll discuss later on. If you want to hit it off with a woman at a wine tasting, you might want to work on your skills before you go. Or, you can let her teach you everything she knows. Being attentive can be incredibly attractive and may even get you invited to other high-end events and venues.
6. Luxury Hotels, Restaurants, and Lounge Bars
Speaking of high-end venues, let’s up the ante a bit. As stereotypical as it sounds, rich people don’t cook for themselves all that often. Instead, many of them visit their favorite upscale restaurants several times per week. Of course, meeting these women in a natural way is bound to be tricky.
If the restaurant you’re staking out is especially fancy, they won’t let you in without a reservation. So you’ll just have to get creative. Some of the tips I’ll share after this section may come in handy when you’re strategizing a way to get into these venues.
And the same goes for meeting women at high-end hotels. However, there’s an added benefit to hanging out in the lobby bar of a luxury hotel. Obviously, there’s a dress code you’ll have to adhere to if you want to be allowed in, but you usually don’t have to prove you’re a guest of the hotel.
If you think lounge bars would be the easiest of all of these places to get into, think again. After all, you won’t find wealthy ladies at any old dive bar. Instead, you have to narrow your search down to the business district of the city or look for bars in a fashionable part of town. Try to get in when the place is pretty full, like at the end of a workday or on Friday evenings.
No matter which of these places you decide to try, remember that there’s an art to approaching older women. It comes down to being respectful and confident above all else, but we’ll talk about that later.
7. Expensive Gyms
Let’s be honest, there’s a reason some older women love younger men so much, and it’s usually not for their intelligence or personality. Think about it: what’s one thing young men have that older ones usually neglect? In a word: looks.
Young people tend to put much more effort into their appearance, which includes gym visits. Women who are looking to date younger people know that. After all, they often put just as much effort into their appearance. So it stands to reason that you might bump into your future sugar momma at the gym.
Of course, wealthy ladies don’t generally frequent your regular neighborhood gym. As with anything else, they tend to stick to high-end places that offer other amenities on top of the expensive exercise equipment and fad fitness classes. So look for gyms with in-house spas and restaurants.
8. Swing Clubs
The last suggestion I have is a bit spicy, but it’s still a valid way to let yourself be found by your friendly neighborhood cougar. If you live in an urban area, you should be able to find several swing clubs with women who’d just love to take you out.
Some male sugar babies, or cubs, prefer to only date single older women and find women with families to be a bit off-putting. Primarily, they’re afraid of being targeted by scorned husbands. That’s why going to swing clubs are the perfect way to meet women whose husbands are cool with them dating around.
Those husbands are probably busy dating other women too! And if the husband can financially support the person they’re dating, the chances are, so can the wife.
The only problem is that you’ll have to be in an urban environment or travel to an area that has several different swing clubs. Then, it would be a matter of getting an invite or paying for entrance to the most exclusive one that would be most likely to have a rich clientele.
How to Score an Invite to One of These Places
While some of these things may be accessible to everyone, many of the places wealthy ladies like to frequent are pretty exclusive. Not all of us get to walk into a country club or a reservation-only restaurant. Still, there are ways around these rules if you’re willing to take advantage of some loopholes.
1. Get a Friend to Take You
The easiest way to get into venues for rich people is to get someone to invite you. If you happen to have fabulously wealthy friends or even a previous sugar momma, now is the time to cash in on any favors they might owe you.
If you don’t have the cash or the clout to get into all those exclusive venues I’ve suggested, riding your friends’ coat-tails is the only legitimate way to be a guest. However, there are two other ways to come into contact with the patronesses of these places.
2. Volunteer or Get a Job Inside the Venue
If you don’t have anyone who can take you to an invite-only charity event, an exclusive gym, or a pricey restaurant, you could always come in from the other side of the curtain.
On the one hand, you can become an organizer of charity events that will draw a crowd of potential sugar mommas. If you don’t want to invest that much of your time into it, volunteering is always an option.
Alternately, you could get a job at one of the venues we’ve been discussing. Any service industry job that includes customer service will do. So you can be a valet in front of one of those fancy hotels, a waiter at a high-end restaurant, or a caterer at a charity event.
Along the same line, you can be a tennis instructor at a country club or a private trainer at a gym. Do whatever puts you in contact with rich older ladies.
3. Become a Casual Lurker
If you don’t want to go through the trouble of applying for jobs at every fancy restaurant in your area, you could just hang out in their general vicinity. If you go about it the wrong way, that can be construed as somewhat predatory.
But if you happen to meet your future benefactress while walking your dog at a park near a Ritz-Carlton, we’ll call it a happy accident. Ultimately, you don’t want to just creepily hang out across the street from an exclusive gym, waiting to pounce on a cougar.
Rather, you want her to want to pounce on you. And that brings me to my final point.
How to Approach a Potential Sugar Momma
If you’re new to the sugar dating game, you may not be aware of the etiquette of dating older women. So let’s briefly talk about how you can approach a cougar if you encounter one.
1. Be Respectful
Obviously, the first tip I have for you is to be respectful. That’s pretty much the same whether you’re approaching a 20-year-old or a 50-year-old. However, the way you convey your respect can be slightly different when you’re interacting with a woman who’s older than you.
For one, you don’t want to make her feel like you’re thinking of her as your mom. She may already be one, but that’s not what she’s looking for when she’s talking to younger guys (or gals). Instead, she wants what anyone wants to get out of a flirtation — to feel desired.
Still, you shouldn’t go above and beyond to deny her age, either. It’s nothing to be ashamed of: she’s just a bit older and probably a lot wiser than you. So lean into it; make it sexy!
An inexperienced sugar baby may deny the relationship they have with their sugar momma when they run into an acquaintance. Don’t be that guy. Generally, you’ll want to steer clear of awkward moments. After all, she’s probably with you to have fun, so she may back away if she feels disrespected in any way.
2. Flirt and Mean It
Even though you should always be respectful, don’t be afraid to make your interactions with potential sugar mommas flirtatious or even a bit raunchy. Older women know what they want, and they’re not afraid to ask for it. So if you signal that you’re available, she’ll probably let you know where she wants to take it from there.
Most women who are open to being sugar mommas are pretty dominant with their young partners — at least in public. They’re the ones who’ll ask for your number, text, and even make the situation sexual first. Many of them are just waiting for their chance to sweep a fellow off his feet.
And if you happen to meet a woman who’d rather be wooed, you’ll know it. The lady will still clearly state her intentions for those who know how to listen. That statement may be conveyed with a look, a touch, or a smile. Or she might flat-out give you her card and tell you to call her later.
If that happens, remember to keep your cool and show her a good time. And that brings me to my last tip.
3. Don’t Go Straight for the Wallet
This tip should be pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll go for it anyway. Basically, remember that the older woman you’re seeing is still a person. You should ideally be attracted to her and invested in showing her a good time.
That doesn’t mean that you should be afraid to discuss the financial aspects of your arrangement, but still, you might want to give it a minute. Then, when the time comes to discuss what each of you would like out of your relationship, you can lay it out with consideration and tact.
When You’re Good to Momma — Momma’s Good to You
Ultimately, you may not even have to actively look for a wealthy benefactress. As we’ve established, cougars usually reach out first. However, if you want to let one know that you’re available, I recommend making a Craigslist ad or a profile on one of the dating sites I’ve mentioned. But if you want to expand your horizons, you can also hang out at all those exclusive venues.
And hey, if all else fails, there’s one last place you might find your sugar momma — if you’re not afraid of venturing into an even older pool of potentials. Volunteer or get a job at a high-end retirement home in your area. Hey, old ladies need attention too! And who knows? You might even get to inherit a bonus down the line.