Funny Gambling Jokes

Gambling Jokes to Make Anyone Laugh

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Gambling is a serious activity and it is unusual to find gamblers laughing while playing a game. There is only a thrill in gambling to claim here if you win and it is rare for anyone to have a good feeling when they lose a bet. If there are no good feelings, where would the laughter come from?

Thus, there must be a reason for you to be happy and laugh from your heart when you go to an online casino, your local sportsbook, or a physical pub and, having a few jokes at hand helps lighten the mood. You can also tell some of these funny jokes about gambling to fellow punters online to make them feel better after a loss.

Through in-depth research, we made a collection of the most jokes that will have your sides hurting from intense laughter. This piece has one-liners, question jokes, gambling addiction jokes, knock-knock jokes, and every joke that will have you guffawing for hours.

Types of Funny Gambling Jokes

Gambling jokes are of different types so we have segmented them to give you the best reading experience.

1. One-line gambling jokes;
2. Gambling knock-knock jokes;
3. Question and answer jokes;
4. Gambling addiction jokes;
5. Poker jokes;
6. Card jokes;
7. Gambling story jokes.

One-Line Funny Gambling Jokes

These are for people who are good punsters. You will love these jokes if you love puns or are good at making some. You could also tell some of these one-line jokes to our gambler friends to make them laugh their ribs off, especially if they feel down because of Cambodian online casinos ban. You can never tell; after reading these jokes, you might come up with better ones alone or with your friends.

Examples:

• The other night, I was asked to leave the casino because they said my shoulder had a chip on it.

• I used to enjoy eating chips, but my fondness for them decreased after I was no longer allowed in the casino.

• I will be attending an abba themed poker night event. The winner will take it all.

• Why was the dietician not allowed in the casino anymore? He has discovered counting carbs.

• I took a risk and purchased a small boat without inspecting it beforehand. It turned out to be a punt.

• My friend repeatedly insists on running through flower fields. He tends to gambol excessively.

• Why are big maps bad at the poker table? They fold every time.

• Earlier, as I was walking down the street, I stumbled upon a sign from a nearby betting store. That is quite odd.

• I engage in an annual bet with a farmer from the area, in which we predict the lamb that will jump higher than others. I find it enjoyable because it is a gambol.

• I performed well during a game of strip poker the previous night. My efforts took my socks off.

Gambling Knock-Knock Jokes

Many people grew up listening to and saying knock-knock jokes; therefore, it is a familiar type of joke to most people. Some people might enjoy puns, but knock-knock jokes might be what you need if you are looking for some good ol’ casino jokes.

Examples:

• Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Casino!

Casino who?

Ca-si-no-evil and Ca-hear-no-evil.

• Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Black…

Black who?

Blackjack.

• Knock knock?

Who’s there?

Bacca…

Bacca who?

Bacca-rat.

Question and Answer Jokes

If you love knock-knock jokes, this type of joke will blow your brains (not literally). These jokes are practical jokes that might be popular. Its popularity does not take the fun out of it because after saying these, you would have your friends that are gambling addicts laughing off the losses they had ten years ago. 

Examples:

• What’s the reason for the prohibition of gambling in Africa?

Due to the higher number of cheetahs in the continent.

• What distinguishes a physical casino from an online one?

No one sees you in an online casino when you sob after your loss.

• What’s the reason for the aversion of vampires towards gambling?

As the stakes are raised, they become anxious.

• What makes the sesame seed reluctant to leave the casino?

He was on a roll. 

• What do you call a better gambler than yourself?

A better bettor.

• What words did the dealer use to address the card deck?

I can’t deal.

• What distinguishes a casino player from a politician?

The latter tells the truth occasionally.

• What do you call a casino-owning iguana?

The Lizard of Odds. 

• At the roulette table, what did the rabbit say to the lion?

Glad to see you aren’t a cheetah.

• Why is gaming prohibited in China? 

Due to their hatred of Tibet.

Gambling Addict Jokes

Gambling addiction can be as detrimental as substance addiction. Finding fun in situations can lighten the mood and make you and the hearer feel better. If you are a compulsive gambler or have friends, these jokes are what you need.

Examples:

• When I arrived at the casino, I spotted a sign that read, “Call 1-800-GAMBLER if you have a gambling addiction. I gave it some thinking before dialling the number. I said, “I have an ace and a six,” when they replied. “The dealer is holding a seven. What should I do?”

• My girlfriend has threatened to break up with me because I have a problem with gambling. Yet, I know it’s a hoax.

• My shovel has a problem with gambling. Before he dug himself a giant hole, I had to stop him.

• Do you know what might improve gambling helplines? Make each of every 5 calls a winner.

• Someone has been making unfounded claims. I have a problem with gambling. Though I’m not sure, I’m betting on Steve.

• What name did the compulsive gamblers give their daughter? 

Betty

• A petite man with a gambling problem checked himself into therapy. It’s alright; he’s better. 

Poker Jokes

You might enjoy these jokes if you love playing poker on a poker table in a brick-and-mortar casino or online poker on casino sites. 

Examples:

• I honestly credit gambling for getting me back on my feet. Since last night at poker, I lost my car.

• A professional poker player who dumped his girlfriend is known as what?

Homeless.

• Due to his poker loss last night, the tiger was furious. He stated that this was his final interaction with a cheetah.

• Santa Claus routinely double-checks, making him a straightforward opponent.

• Everyone praised Brandy for his potential as a maid, but he only ever folds!

Card Jokes

Card games like poker, baccarat, blackjack are popular casino games. The jokes listed below are for you if you are a card person. 

Examples:

• Marriage is similar to a deck of cards in that you initially need two hearts and a diamond, but eventually, you wish you had a club and a spade.

• The toilet is where you have the most significant chance of getting a straight flush in a casino.

• Why are pirates unable to play cards? It’s mainly because they’re on the deck!

• What lacks organs but has a heart? A deck of cards!

Gambling Story Jokes 

If you love the previous jokes but want to have some fun with friends, family, fellow gamblers, or racing fans waiting for new season, it wouldn’t be wrong to know some fictitious gambling short story that can tickle the sides of your listeners. These casino jokes will keep your listeners entranced and happy for long periods.

Examples:

The wiseman during the Great Depression:

A man entered a tavern one day during the Great Depression. He approached the bartender and offered to purchase a round of drinks for the establishment.

It was good, but because they were in the midst of the Great Depression, the bartender said, “I’ll need to see some money first.”

After taking them out, the man placed a large wad of bills on the bar. The bartender was in awe at what he was witnessing. The bartender questioned, “Where did you obtain all that money?”

“I’m a casino de,” the man answered.

“There is no such thing,” the bartender declared. “Your chances are, at best, fifty-fifty, right?”

“I only wager on certain things,” the man said.

“Like what?” the bartender inquired.

For instance, he stated, “I’ll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye.”

The bartender gave it some thought. “Okay,” he replied.

The man then chewed his artificial right eye after pulling it out. The bartender gave the man his $50 and added, “Aw, you deceived me.”

“I’ll give you one more shot.” The guy answered, “I’ll wager you another fifty bucks to bite my left eye.

“Well, I know you’re not blind, I mean, I watched you walk in here,” the bartender remarked after giving it some more thinking. “I’ll accept that wager.” The man then bit his left eye while removing his artificial teeth.

The Gambler and the Assistant:

“I bet you seventy Australian dollars that you can’t pull that meat down from the top rack without a ladder,” the gambler claims as he enters the butcher shop and approaches the employee behind the counter.

The assistant turns to the gambler, looks up, and says: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t accept that wager. The steaks are very high.”

Conclusion

Although gambling addiction is not ideal, you might still find yourself at your local sportsbook even though you are down to your last dollar. Whether you are visiting local sportsbooks to place a bet or at slot machines, you can tell any of these jokes. These casino jokes have no limit to their usage because they never get old. 

We understand that betting isn’t always filled with smiles, but when you remember these casino jokes, you might crack a smile even during a loss. Don’t forget to put smiles on the faces of other gambling addicts with these gambling jokes.