People marry to make their lives complete. Many people marry off happily to seek happiness and comfort in their partner, however, every ending is not a happily ever after. Sometimes the personal differences become too exaggerated between the husband and wife that they fail to deal with each other and thus the home environment gets disturbed.
There could be many factors that contribute to a toxic married relationship like; egoistic personality, bossy nature, jealousy, too much demanding, lack of communication and trust, different needs from life, etc. Some more serious signs of toxic marriage are physical abuse, substance abuse, adultery, and desertion.
To make things work out, here is a list of how you can cope with a toxic married relationship, to make it a better one.
Stop Discussing
When you will open up your personal life in front of everyone, like friends and family, it would create more issues between the partners. Do not discuss your problems with every other person, because most people do not understand the seriousness of the situation, and would like to listen to your stories for entertainment.
One cannot empathize with others until they have been in their shoes. You have to deal with your problems yourself, so do not make others participate in your life matters for long as it would just make you a laughing stock.
See Counselor
To sort things out between you and your partner, see the right person go to a counsellor and elaborate to him on your issues. Marital counsellors have expertise in providing a manageable option for both husband and wife to work out their relationship.
If you are unconfident to see a counsellor, enroll yourself in one of the online marriage and family therapy graduate programs, and learn the techniques that can aid you in coping with your toxic married life. It is never too late to make things work out if you are determined to do so.
Be Truthful
Many marital problems arise due to the blame game. The husband accuses the wife of things that are gone wrong, and the wife blames the husband. If the ego of both the partners is too high to accept the problem, unfortunately then the marriage would not last. Things become difficult when you are not honest with yourself and others.
If the reason behind the problems is you, go on, accept it. And if the reason for the issues is your other half, try to make them realize and understand how it is stressing your life. When you lie, you become complicit in the maintenance of their reality, which is poisonous to you. You cannot make a lie so common that it becomes a truth. Someday, Pandora’s box would open and you would not even get time to regret it.
Have Mercy
Anger, violent behaviour, and rudeness, these things do not define a relationship. Marriage is sacred companionship. Husband and wife are two wheels of a car who drive their life. Always keep the good memories with you of your time together.
Mercy is a radical kindness boosted by forgiveness, and it allows you to change the communicative pattern between your partner, even when you are interacting with your spouse who has been stuck in anger or fear or jealousy. Be the bigger person and try to forgive and forget if you want to make things fine.
When you look for ways to exhibit mercy to even the person who has taxed your sleep and love and even your well-being, something miraculous happens. God rewards the merciful person in a silent way.
Take a Break
If you and your spouse have faced many rough patches, try to take a break. Go for a trip, enjoy a vacation, and explore a new place, but separately. Living together all the time might flare up people in a most unfavorable manner, at pity issues.
It is always good to take some time off to refresh yourself. And taking a break doesn’t mean staying out of the house for two or three hours, rather, it accounts for a long break that would allow you to think about what is happening between you and your partner. Reflect upon where you have drifted apart and try to make things normal once you have recharged yourselves.
In addition to giving yourself space to reflect, seeking guidance from Buddhist teachings can be beneficial. It can emphasize the importance of compassion, patience, and understanding in relationships. Incorporating the principles into your mindset can provide a fresh perspective and help you navigate the challenges of a toxic marriage with greater wisdom and resilience.
Stand for What is Right
Never bend down on what is wrong. If your partner is physically or mentally torturing you, or abusing you, then seek legal action to get justice. You can make things work till they haven’t become dirty, once your partner loses respect for you and maltreat you, then it’s time to take a stand.
Every individual, either man or woman, has the right to live respectfully. No one can ill-treat you, or push you into situations where you don’t want to be. Trying to secure your married life is essential but never compromise your dignity.
