biblical principles for online dating

Biblical Principles for Online Dating: Building Lasting Connections

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How do you build a solid online relationship that’ll lead to a thriving marriage as a Christian man or woman? This is a feat that’s been pulled off by millions of people across the world since the advent of online dating, but there have been many failed attempts, too, that have resulted in divorce or separation.

We don’t say this to be negative or to tell you that online Christian dating is a waste of time. It does work, but not for everyone. Christian dating is so nuanced, to begin with, and adding the online dating dimension into the mix can make it even more complicated for some. Others thrive.

We’ll cover a few Biblical principles we believe will help you build a lasting connection with a believer online. We can’t guarantee success 100% of the time (we wish we could!), but we encourage you to step out in faith, put these principles into practice, and trust God for the rest.

Date Someone Who’s a Christian

If you’re a Christian looking to find love online with other like-minded believers, we highly recommend using dating apps that cater to Christians. It’s one of the easiest ways to connect directly with Christian singles online. Christian dating is the main goal on these sites, and nearly all members are Christians, even from various denominational backgrounds—your chances of matching with an unbeliever that these dating sites are slim to none.

Because Christian dating apps are niche by nature, they usually come with much smaller dating pools, so many Christians have flocked to the more prominent “secular” platforms, so you can find Christian singles who are serious about their faith in these online spaces too. Just set your search terms for religion to “Christianity” to find like-minded believers on dating apps like Tinder or Bumble!

Why Date a Christian?

The Bible stresses the importance of marrying someone who is a believer. Doing so creates unity in a marriage and a more intimate bond between a married couple. The connection between two believers will generally be more harmonious because they see life through Christ’s grace and love.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15 says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?” 

The Bible uses this term unequally yoked, referring to two oxen joined together by a wooden bar to plow a field. If one ox is significantly weaker than the other, the team won’t be able to complete the task as well as they could. It’s much better to have two oxen of equal strength to get the best results.

Attraction is Important, But So is Character

We believe attraction is one of the primary keys to success in any relationship, regardless of your religious beliefs or worldviews. God created attraction between men and women to complement the attraction one can develop toward someone’s character or personality. You have an entire book of the Holy Bible, the Song of Solomon, that’s an ode to the beauty of a woman. You cannot tell us that God didn’t create attraction as a factor in the marriage relationship.

So, while attraction is vital to a successful Christian marriage or relationship, we recognize that choosing someone compatible regarding morals, principles, or temperament is just as important. Yeah, we know character can be hard to gauge if you only have some basic profile information to work from. Still, many dating apps have IM chats and video messaging that let you directly interact with your matches one-on-one to know better who they are.

And as a Christian man or woman, we’d recommend using the Fruit of the Spirit passages from Galatians as a measuring stick for discovering someone who has the right kind of character:

Galatians 5:22-23 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

If you feel that someone you met online displays some or most of these qualities and says they’re a Christian, this could be someone to keep around. And you should set up a time to meet in person sooner rather than later. People can be much different in person compared to their online persona.

Don’t Restrict Your Search to Dating Apps

Dating apps have revolutionized how we can find love and connect with other singles. Swiping apps, in particular, have made it possible to view a wide range of people in a short time, all from the convenience of a smartphone. And you can find love with people from sea to shining sea or in foreign nations with little effort. Dating apps have changed the entire dating landscape and made finding love an exciting adventure.

But not too long ago, you’d bank on meeting people in your day-to-day life through church, work, friends, or family. You’d be hoping and praying you’d meet “the one” based on these limited interactions. So, while you cut your options down significantly by taking this approach, we recommend making this “old-fashioned” method part of your search for your soulmate or marriage partner. You have a greater chance of finding someone that already has some overlap with your day-to-day life which makes integrating the relationship much more organic.

It’s a well-known fact that one in five relationships begin online nowadays, so we’re not saying you should rule out online dating altogether. We’re just saying you shouldn’t limit yourself to dating apps exclusively because you’re ignoring the magic that happens two-in-five times out in the real world.

The Downsides of Dating Apps

We love online dating apps, to be clear. They can help you discover dating possibilities or potential marriage partners in the most unlikely places. But we’re well aware of the possible pitfalls of these platforms, particularly for fostering a quality connection with Christian men and women (or anyone for that matter), if they’re not used correctly.

These are what we see as potential hazards for Christian believers who pursue love using online dating apps:

  • Because a prominent aspect of online dating revolves around looks, many dating apps can have raunchy photos that could cause Christian men or women to fall into lust.
  • Online dating apps offer so many options for member profiles that believers can treat finding a Christian husband or wife like shopping around for a car or a house. Weirdly, dating apps can turn people into commodities.
  • Dating apps can make it extremely difficult to decide on a partner due to the many options available. Christian men or women could pass up on good companions because there are so many choices, and they feel they can do better.

Undoubtedly, dating apps have blessed us as single Christians. Still, there can be some negative psychological ramifications from having too much of your search for a suitable partner immersed in an online dating platform. But if you don’t have many other options for meeting Christian singles other than online means, we recommend using these tips to navigate these waters in a healthy manner.

Final Thoughts

Again, these Biblical principles for discovering lasting connections might not always work in your favor. However, these rough guidelines will increase your chances of developing a solid connection with a Christian man or woman, one that has the potential to be long-lasting and fruitful.

If you didn’t learn anything else, we hope you’ll walk away with these three points in mind:

  • Date someone who loves God and shares your Christian beliefs.
  • Look for evidence of the Spiritual Fruits in your matches as an indicator of their character and personality.
  • Don’t be afraid to balance your online search for love with some authentic, real-world relationships through your church, family, or friend groups.

We hope we have offered some decent insights into this topic, but the one you can trust wholeheartedly in all this is the Lord Himself. He created the universe, and he knows your heart and desires better than anyone. You’re His child, after all. Pray that He’ll give you wisdom and guidance to find the one your heart desires.

Our last word of encouragement as you go forth on your search for love and romance:

“Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).